OMFG

[helenic]

So I was on my way to see Denny the other night, and reading a discarded Metro on the tube, when I saw an advert for Antony and Cleopatra at the Novello Theatre, starring Patrick Stewart and Harriet Walter. PATRICK STEWART. 7.30pm Mon-Sat until Feb 17th, tickets £5-36. I called the number. It took me so long to get through (like, a day, after repeated attempts which took so long I had to give up), that I googled for the theatre and looked at their website. According to which the cheapest tickets were like £20. WTF? I called the number again (while doing the washing up: a messy operation) and was told by an automated voice that the website I should look at was Delfont Macintosh. I duly visited Delfont Macintosh, where I found - oh joy! - my cheap tickets, PLUS a discount for 16-25 year olds which you could get by calling the hotline.

Hooray! I called up again, and this time, miraculously, I got through.

"Our cheapest tickets are £18" the woman in the box office told me. Despite evidence to the contrary on their website.

"But what about the discount for 16-25 year olds?" I asked in confusion.

"Oh!" she said. "Is that what you want to book?"

"Um, yes, if we can afford it, and as long as we can see."

I told her how many of us there were (two 16-25 year olds, one not) and when we wanted to go (Tuesday or Wednesday evening next week). She went away to check some things. She returned.

"Are you okay sitting near the front? If you want to sit together we have three seats in row four in the stalls. Okay? That'll be £35 plus £2.25 booking fee for the non-discounted ticket, and £4.25 plus 75p each for the 16-25 tickets."

OMFG. Like, REALLY. Am not kidding.

Patrick Stewart in Antony and Cleopatra next week for a fiver. PATRICK STEWART. FOR THREE HOURS. FOR FOUR POUNDS TWENTY FIVE. That's like one pound forty two AN HOUR for PATRICK STEWART.

THAT'S LESS THAN THE CINEMA. DUDE.

I should totally go to the theatre more. FOR SERIOUS.