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helenicjournals: entry/sentence
in this journal: "If she had a burning desire for my confession she would seek it out, or would have raised the subject on any of the opportunities we've had to speak since it ended (there have been a couple, and all as flat and emotionless as each other)."
This was with regards to Laura, and my decision not to get in touch with her after I bumped into her in the faculty one Friday. I realised that my desire to contact her wasn't selfless, wasn't for the sake of apologising to her and resolving things, but was merely self-indulgent, to give me the resolution I craved but could never have, and that actually, it was the last thing she wanted. It was a really hard thing to do, and I still don't know if it was right. Post is here.
on livejournal ever: "This was almost my baby ... why is it only after a scare like this I become aware of the fertile potential of my body, of what it could be?"
I'd just had a pregnancy scare, and was navel-gazing on the fact that every time I had a period it was, shock, a failed pregnancy. What can I say? I was sixteen. My first journal is entirely private these days, by the way, in case you're tempted to go looking.
nearest books: page/sentence
"Der. aur-elia, a gold-coloured chrysalis; aur-e-ol-a, aur-e-ole, the halo of golden glory in paintings; auri-ferous, gold-producing, from ferre, to bear." Concise Dictionary of English Etymology. Skeat, 1993.
"Douglas creates in his Eneydos a world where families feel almost magically drawn together by blood: Ascanias is a "tendir get" (tender offspring) of Aeneas, as is Lausus of Mezentius." The Cambridge Companion to Virgil. Martindale, 1997.
"MENALCAS: Quod potui, puero silvestri ex arbore lecta
aurea mala decem misi: cras altera mittam." Virgil, Loeb, 1916. (Eclogue III)
in this journal: "If she had a burning desire for my confession she would seek it out, or would have raised the subject on any of the opportunities we've had to speak since it ended (there have been a couple, and all as flat and emotionless as each other)."
This was with regards to Laura, and my decision not to get in touch with her after I bumped into her in the faculty one Friday. I realised that my desire to contact her wasn't selfless, wasn't for the sake of apologising to her and resolving things, but was merely self-indulgent, to give me the resolution I craved but could never have, and that actually, it was the last thing she wanted. It was a really hard thing to do, and I still don't know if it was right. Post is here.
on livejournal ever: "This was almost my baby ... why is it only after a scare like this I become aware of the fertile potential of my body, of what it could be?"
I'd just had a pregnancy scare, and was navel-gazing on the fact that every time I had a period it was, shock, a failed pregnancy. What can I say? I was sixteen. My first journal is entirely private these days, by the way, in case you're tempted to go looking.
nearest books: page/sentence
"Der. aur-elia, a gold-coloured chrysalis; aur-e-ol-a, aur-e-ole, the halo of golden glory in paintings; auri-ferous, gold-producing, from ferre, to bear." Concise Dictionary of English Etymology. Skeat, 1993.
"Douglas creates in his Eneydos a world where families feel almost magically drawn together by blood: Ascanias is a "tendir get" (tender offspring) of Aeneas, as is Lausus of Mezentius." The Cambridge Companion to Virgil. Martindale, 1997.
"MENALCAS: Quod potui, puero silvestri ex arbore lecta
aurea mala decem misi: cras altera mittam." Virgil, Loeb, 1916. (Eclogue III)