this is a weary hour

[helenic]

I didn't manage to sleep until 5am last night, and after yvesilena's 8.30am wake-up call I fell asleep again for an hour. However, other than that today has been reasonably productive: I had a useful conversation this morning, spent some time doing emotion-sorting visualisation techniques in the shower to try to help me focus on work this week, and I finally overcame my fear of the UL enough to actually go inside, find some books and read them. It was much harder than it sounds, trust me. I've had a two-sided reading list for my thesis sitting in my bag for the last three weeks, and every time I've tried to go to the UL I've been waylaid by anxiety, and ended up in the Classics faculty library, Divinity, or even Sainsburys, or just walking past rather than up the steps, and going home again. I'm terrified of it. Today was the first time in three years at Cambridge I've actually gone inside. I filled out the form for computer access, ascertained that I can withdraw books with my university card, and realised I didn't have £1 for a (compulsory) locker - but the library staff let me leave my bag at the desk, so that was alright. And I made notes on three books, got out five more including two I've been trying to get hold of for ages, and generally felt industrious and scholarly.

It's beautiful inside. It reminds me of museums, all marble and high ceilings, but with an essential Britishness to it; all the books hardbacked and dust-jacketless (occasionally including the glossy paperback cover a few pages in), men in shapeless green cardigans and dog collars (I was in the Religion section), the dim sunlight in the South Wing making the spines harder and harder to read the deeper you go. I found vast quantities of books that would have been tremendously helpful to my thesis if only I'd discovered them a fortnight ago, but it's entirely my own fault for not getting up the nerve to explore earlier. After three hours, however, the lack of caffeine (or, in fact, any liquid at all, as they don't let you have even closed bottles of water) was beginning to tell on me, so I went over the road to Clare, where my friend Aleks fed me about five cups of strong black coffee in rapid succession, and we talked about Venice.

After another hours' work to finish the book I was on, I came home to collect the library books that were due back at the Classics faculty, and pick up some money so I could photocopy some articles, but the lack of sleep and caffeine overdose have caught up with me and I didn't end up going back. I've effectively taken the last two hours' off, answering emails, doing a final edit on my entry for the college writing competition (and huge thanks to the_lady_lily, smhwpf, ixwin and romauld for your comments; if I win, I'll buy you each a drink) and spending time on Useful Things like this interview meme from thedivineoliver:

1: in the last week how would you estimate your work to masturbation ratio has worked out?

Ooh. Let me think back. Well, on Friday and Saturday nights there was no masturbation for me, as I was drunk and doing the platonic bed/room-sharing thing. But I didn't do any work either. Friday I did loads of work so that probably counts as extra, but then on Tuesday night I got stoned so ... I'd say about 5.5:7.

2: how much of the alleged "classics" you study are actually just pretentious twaddle no matter what language they are written in?

All of them. They're either oh-so-serious and poetic and Big and Important and Oh Tragedy, Woe, (like Aeschylus), or they're crude and vulgar and all about sex and poo and calling various celebrities self-indulgent wankers, BUT with loads of snobby political intellectual in-jokes, and with a general self-satisfied American-esque OH YES, our empire is TEH R0XX0R because it has writers like MEEE (such as Aristophanes and Ovid). Or they're lyrical and posey and OMG, how well read am I, like Callimachus and Copa and Virgil ("did you get those echoes of Propertius and Theocritus there? Didja? Huh? Bet you didn't, dumbass"). Or they're TEH FUNK like Euripides with his modern rap lyrics, yo, tell dat Aeschylus I is overthrowin' da literary convenshuns, ya man, fo real, Sophocles is goin' DOWN, fuck yo momma. Oh, apart from Homer. Homer is the business.

I hasten to add that none of the actual Greek or Latin authors are anywhere near as pretentious as Classicists.

3: what is the most desperate form of entertainment you've ever resorted to in order to avoid conversation with relatives?

Hmm, hard to choose. There's the well-known Volunteering to Walk the Dog tactic, but I've avoided that in recent years since our spaniel went senile. I've been known to play folk music with relatives rather than talk to them, but only immediate family. Or I hide in the interweb like a big goth baby. Or help in the kitchen while playing the radio REALLY REALLY LOUD so as to preclude conversation with my fellow cooks.

4: is it ever acceptable to drink lager in public?

Of course not, heathen. AND NO, MIXING IT WITH LEMONADE DOESN'T MAKE IT OK. Pussy.

5: which greek philosopher talked the most bollocks?

I would like here to quote Philo, On Joseph, XII 58-60.

The man who brought this servant of whom we are speaking is said to have been a eunuch; very naturally, for the multitude which purchases the services of a man skilful in affairs of state is truly a eunuch, having in appearance, indeed, the organs of generation, but being deprived of all the power requisite for generating; just as those persons who have a confused sight though they have eyes, are nevertheless deprived of the active use of them, inasmuch as they are not able to see clearly. What, then, is the resemblance of eunuchs to the multitude? That the multitude too is unable to generate wisdom, but that it studies virtue; for when a multitude of men, brought promiscuously together from all quarters and of different races, meets in the same place, what is said indeed may be proper and becoming, but what is intended and what is done is quite contrary; since the multitude embraces what is spurious in preference to what is genuine, because it is carried away by false opinion, and has not studied what is truly honourable. On which account (though it seems a most unnatural thing), a wife is represented as cohabiting with this eunuch; for the multitudes court desire, as a man courts a woman; for the sake of which it says and does everything, making it its counsellor in everything which should and should not be spoken, trifling or important, being not at all accustomed to attend to considerations of calm wisdom.

... 'Nuff said.

If you really want questions, shout. But only if you're going to answer them. Post them in your own journal, etc; you know the drill.

Comments

[fiona-kitty.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed working in the UL over the holidays. And it does actually have a canteen, with coffee, although going in there alone reminds me too much of school!

If you can think of any Questions, go ahead.. :)

[adamw]

Hmm, not had any questions from this meme for a while, so if you can come up with five, go for it.

[oxfordgirl.livejournal.com]

Have you given me questions already? I forget...

[libellum.livejournal.com]

nope, don't think so. Hmmm ...

1. To what extent you find your current most-played LARP character (at any one time) affecting -or infecting - your day-to-day behaviour?
2. What's your favourite untranslateable phrase?
3. Right, 'fess up. What were your reasons for chucking Classics and going with English instead? I DEMAND ANSWERS!
4. What's the whole "Oxfnord" thing about?
5. Do you have any outlandish plans for the cool ways in which you're going to bring up your kids? (If you're planning on being babyfree - why?)

[libellum.livejournal.com]

1. What's your opinion on Slimelight?
2. Are you going to vote next week?
3. What are the five basic food groups?
4. Tentacles: yay/nay?
5. What do you want to be when you grow up?

[libellum.livejournal.com]

I haven't found the canteen yet. Can you take books in the canteen?

Questions... hmm.

1. Where do you see yourself in ten years?
2. What's the strangest/most interesting place you've ever had sex?
3. Which book has had the greatest effect on you this year?
4. What are the best and worst things about Cambridge?
5. If you were in Knightmare, would you have wanted to be the person in the game, or one of the people leading them?

[dennyd.livejournal.com]

Booyah. Questionify me :)

[dreamfracture.livejournal.com]

I've already been infected, but I'm more than happy to recieve more questions.

[fiona-kitty.livejournal.com]

1. I can see where I want to be, but am a bit scared it won't happen. I would either like to live in the middle of nowhere or on the edge of a city like Cambridge or Edinburgh. Would like to share a house with friends, and have a child of my own. And cats. And a garden. And a job in research science that pays sufficient money to be comfortable.

2. I'm quite boring! In a hedge. And sat outside on the grass in the dark.

3. Sadly, it won't be a fictional book. Organic Chemistry by Clayden, Greeves, Warren and Wothers. A classic read, that. :)

4. The best things about Cambridge, are the strange, lovely, wonderful people I occasionally meet. And the nice buildings, The Backs, ducks and college cats.

The worst things about Cambridge, are the stress, the 'not good enough' feeling, the irritating people, and the intimidating atmosphere.

5. One of the people leading them.

[kungfuchaos.livejournal.com]

do me! *g*
i'll do this one properly, i promise.

[lzz.livejournal.com]

The canteen is past North Wing. You can't take books in, though; there is a table outside where you are supposed to leave them.

I love the UL, but my former supervisor (who is mad and marvellous) is scared of it and always gets her husband to go for her. You're in good company. :)

[smhwpf.livejournal.com]

Go on, question me!

[libellum.livejournal.com]

1. Where on the Kinsey scale (0-6) would you place your sexuality? Has this changed over time?
2. What's the most outrageous thing you've ever done in a church?
3. If you had to be re-born into any period of history, into comparable social circumstances to your current situation, where and when would you choose?
4. The upcoming Star Wars movie: thoughts?
5. Body modification (tattoos/piercings/scarification, etc). Do you currently have any, and are you planning to get any (more)? If so, describe them.

[libellum.livejournal.com]

:) okay...

1. If money was no object and you couldn't stay in the country, where would you most like to travel this summer, and what would you do?
2. Why couldn't Gandalf have sent Frodo to Mordor on the back of one of the Eagles, guarded by the other Eagles and Gandalf? Seriously, I can't think of a reason.
3. What great things does Spanish have that English doesn't?
4. Do you think there's any truth in the karma principle? Why?
5. If you could change anything about your physical appearance, would you? What?

[libellum.livejournal.com]

1. Given the option, and on the understanding that you could never return, would you rather travel into the future or the past, with the knowledge that you have now?
2. If you could live the life of any fictional character, who would you choose?
3. Is representative democracy really our best option?
4. Do you envisage yourself staying in academia indefinitely?
5. Which skill/craft do you most wish you had, and why?

[libellum.livejournal.com]

1. If you could live in any fictional universe (not created by you :P) which would you choose?
2. What's the longest sex session you've ever had? Pausing for a bathroom break/cigarette/drink doesn't count; putting the TV on, using the computer or making food does :)
3. What/where was your retreat as a child?
4. Describe your best ever outfit.
5. So when are you coming up to Cambridge? :)

[dreamfracture.livejournal.com]

1. Where on the Kinsey scale (0-6) would you place your sexuality? Has this changed over time? Somewhere around 1.5 or 2, I guess. I've become closer to bisexual over time, but I'm still primarily hetero and have only ever been in hetero relationships.
2. What's the most outrageous thing you've ever done in a church? Shouted "This is MY fucking world!", with my fists clenched and my head thrown back, and a somewhat maniacal expression. I don't know for certain if this counts, because I was on top of the tower at the time, not actually inside the building. But it damn well should do.
3. If you had to be re-born into any period of history, into comparable social circumstances to your current situation, where and when would you choose? Hmm, difficult one. Part of the problem is that my social class didn't actually exist through a lot of history. The Industrial Revolution might have been quite cool to experience for a scientific-minded person like myself.
For something completely different... Why not Tenochtitlan in the Aztec era? If ever there was a culture that was not ashamed of its own bloodlust.
4. The upcoming Star Wars movie: thoughts? Pah. Bollocks to George Lucas. On the other hand, it can't posssibly be worse than Episode I.
5. Body modification (tattoos/piercings/scarification, etc). Do you currently have any, and are you planning to get any (more)? If so, describe them. No piercings, and I doubt I'd want any. They're not really my kind of thing. Besides, I'd just fiddle with them incessantly as I sometimes do with necklaces. I do like tattoos, but I don't have any, and if I were going to get one, it would have to be a symbol of some kind that was very significant to me; just a plain black design. Scarification yes, but perhaps not quite deep enough to be permanent. I have four very neat, parallel cuts on my left upper arm. I think they're very pretty, and I'd quite like them mirrored on my right arm. Not planning on doing that any time soon, though.

[strongtrousers.livejournal.com]

Very well.

Fire!


(Also, whenever I was working in the UL (in the bookstacks rather than reading rooms at least) I would have a bottle of water, and nobody batted an eyelid.)

[the-lady-lily.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you've finally conquered UL Fear! :)

Tea room - if you stand at the T-junction formed at the bottom of the Huge Tower just behind the reception desk, facing towards the Reading Room, you take the right corridor, go all the way to the end, then instead of going up the stairs go down the corridor opposite it (putting your books on the table). They have a free water machine.

[kungfuchaos.livejournal.com]

1. am i allowed more than one? ahem. a) something with EWB, along the lines of sustainable energy implementation in somewhere along the lines of nepal. b) the land of canadia, where we're semi-planning a trip, because all the images i've seen of the place are absolutely beautiful and the summer sky combined with ice and snow has always been a favourite for me. what i'd do, honestly, is go out with the flipage guys, buy white ninja suits, and flip sweetly through trees and practise tkd in the snow, then drink beer and hot chocolate. yup. c) mexico, america or ghana, to see either or both of my bros, who i haven't seen for too long and whos (apostrophe?) absence is beginning to show. or d) anywhere where the people close to me are and i can be with them.

2. other than destroying about 600 pages of fine literature, you mean? :-) i always had a picture of the eagles as... er... don't really know the word, but er "non-summonable". the film trashed this of course with gandalf whispering to the lil moth dude, but from the books i pictured the eagles as turning up sometimes when needed, but not by request. good idea though. they'd have ruined everyone's shit.
as an alternative, that made me crack up all over my room, check out the catapult clips...

3. as a language or just in general? as a language, no need for *quiet voice* personal pronouns *looks nervous* is that the right thing? words like "I", "you" etc before verbs. much easier. and the ny sound. best... phonetic... ever. and it just rolls so much easier off the tongue and sounds cool. don't get me wrong, i dont speak very much, but it's sweet. i particularly like hasta luego as a farewell. like "until i see you again" but less long-winded.
in general: sun, siestas, tans, paella, urban landscapes to die for, a killer laid-back attitude, the list's endless. but again, don't get me wrong, england kicks ass!

4. i used to base a substantial part of my life on it. karma seems so much more logical than going to a nice place full of candy or a nasty place full of fire when you die. but, im a third-year scientist, and i've had a degree of the scepticism (spelling?) that that entails burned into me. probably the wrong word, i'd never be openly sceptical of someone talking about the principle, but my opinion has shifted more from belief to, erm, "i don't really mind what happens to me when i die as long as i've done my bit here".
that might sound an ignorant/terrible thing to say, but my view is that as long as i've done something to ease suffering and help people out here (a key part to the karma cycle), i dont care if i go to candyland or fireplace or another life here on earth. or if the electrical impulses that somehow give rise to my consciousness simply fade out and there's no more iain.
karma certainly appeals to me a lot more as an ideology than other religious perspectives of the afterlife. and, as with any faith, if it encourages people to live by a code that's good for others and society, it gets my approval.

5. i'd never do anything real in practise, but i feel i should should register the opinion that my face is too long. a solution would be either to squash it front->back by about 30%, or grow extra big-ass beefy sideburns to split the view. maybe slightly smaller and less hobbit-like feet. maybe a tattoo of a tomoye on my right instep. maybe a 12-inch penis. nope, i'm pretty happy the way i am. :-)
(http://humpfest.ca/forum/index.php?showtopic=172&pid=880&mode=threaded&show=&st=&) ()

[dennyd.livejournal.com]

http://www.livejournal.com/users/dennyd/349966.html#cutid1

[verte.livejournal.com]

I can't believe I'd been in the Cambridge UL before you ventured in there! It is gorgeous, but I can understand the intimidating-ness. People here shy away from the non-reading-list Brotherton library, and I just can't think why, as the other one's a 60s monstrosity, and the Broth's marble, art deco YUM!

Permission to steal paragraph assessment of Classics for fun-starved housemates with four essays each to do? It made me laugh.

And if you give me questions I WILL answer them. I'm supposed to be planning an essay, you see.

[libellum.livejournal.com]

I will hunt for it tomorrow, after my (dreaded) thesis supervision! Mad and marvellous is what I aspire to be, I think :)

[libellum.livejournal.com]

I can't believe it either! I'm shocked and appalled at my own temerity. I don't know why I'm so scared of it, it's completely irrational. I think it's the fear of being trapped? Not literally, but not being able to do anything other than work. I appreciate my regular tea breaks. The Classics fac is a breezebrick monstrosity, but it's our monstrosity and it's long and cosy with big windows and friendly computers. The Divinity faculty looks like some kind of enormous steel and glass ship. Apparently it won architectural awards, but it's a bit strange.

By all means steal the paragraph! This is what excessive essay-and-thesis writing does to my prose, clearly.

I can't think of interesting questions right now; brain no-worky. Tomorrow!

GAH...

[libellum.livejournal.com]

temerity = timidity. Told you my prose was screwed ;)