heaven and hell

[helenic]

Excerpt from last night's pillow talk:

me: Hell is a small, isolated, fluorescent-lit room where you're desperately trying to use the internet to send an urgent message but your connection speed is so weak it takes about 45 minutes to download a text-only email.

Chris: Oh god. I think I've been there.

me: And there are millions of tiny windowless identical rooms, all unaware of each other, and the air con vents over your keyboard so your hands are freezing and you're using a virus-riddled Windows machine -

Chris: One of the ones you get in public computer rooms running Windows 3.1.

me: Whereas in heaven, everything runs on Linux.

Chris: Apple Macs. Has to be Macintosh for heaven, nothing else has the graphics support.

me: With high-speed broadband and unlimited bandwidth. And Internet Explorer doesn't exist. Nor does MySpace. And you can have any domain name you want.

Chris: Yeah. Domain squatting is definitely illegal in heaven.