self-help remedies

[helenic]

Right. If you have intense sleep-deprivation, a crushing headache, a sensitivity to weather pressure, gym soreness and the (ever-debilitating) combination of low energy, hunger and an antipathy to food, follow the following procedure:

• have cup of tea and chat with good, wise, kind friend, who will provide reality check, hugs, and stroky lobsters (the specifics of this step may vary)


• high-speed cycle-ride through Cambridge, preferably in spring, overtaking all the other cyclists, thus obtaining exercise-endorphines and blissful sense of utter liberation


• purchase the following from local supermarket: orange juice, low fat yoghurt ("woodland" and "orchard" selections highly recommended), weight-watchers malted danish loaf, selection of Twinings green teas, slim-a-soup (leek & potato, mediterranean tomato), various salad items reduced to mere pennies (including packaged caesar salad, mediterraean salad and italian salad) and button mushrooms.


• eat aforementioned caesar salad. drink two pints of water.


• feel immediately glowing and healthy. write livejournal entry chronicling effectiveness of technique.


• eat gooseberry-flavoured yoghurt


• tidy room whilst listening to The Sundays (or other light, peaceful, upbeat acoustic indie)


• have aromatherapy shower utilising bergamot, rose, and lavender


• re-enter tidy and calm room, be overwhelmed by feelings of wellbeing


• make cup of jasmine green tea


• achieve perfect success in all academic endeavours

Note: avoid caffeine, binge food, cigarettes, stressed friends, and livejournal. This includes comments to aforementioned entry. Do not allow self to be distracted by contemplation of the meta of an ironically self-referential livejournal entry, because your genius would be far better off applied to your Latin Literature essay.

Comments

[mazzarc.livejournal.com]

No chocolate!!!! I'd die without chocolate... it's all that keeps me sane lately!

[libellum.livejournal.com]

that's precluded in the "antipathy to food" clause :)

(oops ... I'm supposed to be ignoring these, aren't i?)

[mazzarc.livejournal.com]

yes, get back to work *cracks the whip* *grins*

[libellum.livejournal.com]

hehe, when I posted that last reply I was still only on step 7, "Tidy Room". The journal entry was pre-emptive, yes, but luckily I'm psychic and it ALL CAME TRUE.

[aurilia.livejournal.com]

hahahah

this is the best

[baranoouji.livejournal.com]

feel immediately glowing and healthy. write livejournal entry chronicling effectiveness of technique.

avoid caffeine, binge food, cigarettes, stressed friends, and livejournal.

Uh-oh.

[libellum.livejournal.com]

I avoided livejournal! I did! I just wrote the entry somewhat precipitously, that's all. The last five steps hadn't actually happened at the time of writing...

[alixandrea.livejournal.com]

*Giggles* great ideas - especially the Bergamot. Also good to bear in mind that Slim-a-Soups (and in fact all soups) are ridiculously high in salt, so keep that water coming. And canned value brand (veggie) soups are often just as few (or less even!) calories than their expensive 'Low Calorie' branded cousins... ;-)

[libellum.livejournal.com]

they're the 45-cal "be good to yourself" sainsbury's cupasoup range, which are 15 cals less than the brand name slim-a-soups and cheaper! the tinned soups are usually about 150 cals a tin, which (assuming 1 tin = 2 cupasoups) is equivalent to the normal sainsburys cup soups. and I don't like tinned soups that much.

I really shouldn't know these things...

[verte.livejournal.com]

Harrr! Well done, H! Sounds like you've got it a little bit sorted, at least.

[libellum.livejournal.com]

Harrr indeed! I wasn't quite sorted; felt very aromatherapied and relaxed, and then Chris rang, so had very interesting conversation for an hour, and then basically did little more than type up my notes for two hours. I couldn't get my head around what it was actually saying. In the end I went to bed about 1am (although didn't sleep until almost 2, as is becoming annoyingly common) and got up at 6.30 to finish. Was handed in at 10am this morning and is official Essay of Doom at 3 498 words!! and that's after I cropped huge chunks out and rewrote loads of sentences. I suppose it is the first essay out of three on this literature topic that I've actually finished, so it's sort of become The Definitive Life and Afterlife Essay. Still, I was rather pleased with it :)

How's yours coming? I can really recommend the Sainsbury's pre-prepared salads, if you ever see them reduced.

[(Anonymous)]

x-)

[libellum.livejournal.com]

?

[smhwpf.livejournal.com]

Haha! Glad you found a solution. Definitely gotta patent that.