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helenic Libellum ...etc (internal dialectic)
New skin for this thing. Devised while illegally blutacking cocteau twins postcards to my wall, because they have the best album art ever.
Bank holidays are meaningless here: I shall spend today sitting in lecture halls drawing spirals in my notebook and writing Greek Prose in the style of Plato. Doodles seem to have replaced taking notes in lectures entirely, since they serve the same purpose while being more aesthetically pleasing. If I look at something I've drawn I can always remember what I was listening to at the time; this curl suggesting one of Aristotle's four causes, those stars hinting at the reason the Nurse in Hippolytus speaks mainly in anapaests.
It's summer and I'm laughing more, in maryjanes with black ribbon at my throat. I heard a story at primary school about a girl who tied a ribbon round her neck; her boy was never allowed to take it off until she finally let him on her deathbed, and as soon as he pulled the bow loose her head came off. Of course there are times I still shake with self-loathing but there are things I can use to distract myself - letters and posters and buttons for bracelets, icelollies on the grass, expeditions to Stratford and London - until it doesn't seem important anymore. Yesterday I saw Alex on stage and was stunned, because it's strange seeing someone you love become someone else, and at the end when Stella spoke about her miscarriage I cried.
There's a deeper meaning behind the spirals in my notebooks than philosophy lectures, I think. The way they turn so self-indulgently inwards is all too reminiscent of me.
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no subject
on 2003-05-05 03:30 am (UTC)It's been an age (at least, here .. )
x o x o
no subject
on 2003-05-05 03:33 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-05-05 04:01 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-05-05 01:04 pm (UTC)