margins

[helenic]

        Libellum ...etc (internal dialectic)

New skin for this thing. Devised while illegally blutacking cocteau twins postcards to my wall, because they have the best album art ever.

Bank holidays are meaningless here: I shall spend today sitting in lecture halls drawing spirals in my notebook and writing Greek Prose in the style of Plato. Doodles seem to have replaced taking notes in lectures entirely, since they serve the same purpose while being more aesthetically pleasing. If I look at something I've drawn I can always remember what I was listening to at the time; this curl suggesting one of Aristotle's four causes, those stars hinting at the reason the Nurse in Hippolytus speaks mainly in anapaests.

It's summer and I'm laughing more, in maryjanes with black ribbon at my throat. I heard a story at primary school about a girl who tied a ribbon round her neck; her boy was never allowed to take it off until she finally let him on her deathbed, and as soon as he pulled the bow loose her head came off. Of course there are times I still shake with self-loathing but there are things I can use to distract myself - letters and posters and buttons for bracelets, icelollies on the grass, expeditions to Stratford and London - until it doesn't seem important anymore. Yesterday I saw Alex on stage and was stunned, because it's strange seeing someone you love become someone else, and at the end when Stella spoke about her miscarriage I cried.

There's a deeper meaning behind the spirals in my notebooks than philosophy lectures, I think. The way they turn so self-indulgently inwards is all too reminiscent of me.

Comments

[luminette.livejournal.com]

i love the cocteaus; one of the few bands whose art accurately describes their music (and vice versa?)

.

[libellum.livejournal.com]

exactly! that same sort of rich intangibility. it's not even a description of each other; more that the art and music are evocative of the same things in different ways.

I just think the cd covers are beautiful, really. x

[thecinderella.livejournal.com]

O how gd to see you again!
It's been an age (at least, here .. )

x o x o

[libellum.livejournal.com]

yes; aside from sporadic texts I'd lost track completely. my own fault I suppose. I am now going to sit and read your entire journal & so develop a claim to you again. xxx!!

[libellum.livejournal.com]

god; i hadn't realised quite how many personas you have on here. Am trawling through them; you are an intrigue. !!

[thecinderella.livejournal.com]

haha, it's so true! I'm terribly sorry. my history is somewhat scattered around here & I can NEVR make up my mind as to just who I want to be. x

[nicolasix.livejournal.com]

i love the new layout.

[libellum.livejournal.com]

thankyou darling. the postcard that inspired me was actually milk&kisses, but that reminded me of your layouts in a way I can't quite put my finger on, so I went for treasure instead. & I'll see you on Saturday, n'est ce pas? x

[nicolasix.livejournal.com]

oui. i dreamt last night that the french used '/' as their symbol for zero, and i was totally confused by it, woke up in a daze. which is irrelevant to everything.
saturday will hopefully be fun as long as im not entirely sober. la la, i think it will be a night of broken illusions which can be good and bad. i will need wine.

[libellum.livejournal.com]

what is it with you and zeros? I really like yr "zero as seed" idea. hmm, I just looked up zero in linear a but it's not interesting, just a wobbly sort of O. ( | is one and - is ten )

I'm looking forward to saturday immensely. I'm not sure about broken illusions because I'm not expecting people to talk like their ljs or anything, i just hope I get on with people. Wine will definitely be needed, oh yes.

[mettle.livejournal.com]

everyone will get on with everyone. wine helps. so does the friendliness of everyone. but, y'know, no one really ever says, "thankyou" when they leave.

i feel so fucking uncool, keep stumbling across comments on my party in places i haven't mentioned it. not that i mind, just makes me into a big ol' geek when i realise i do this too often. danny called me 'the queen of lj meet-ups'. i was... not impressed.

but, what do i care, i'm gonna drink and dance and drag people around the house. then, i will get immensely jealous when people become all friendly and stuff when i am not involved. because i'm selfish like that.

oh, i don't care, i'm just having a bad day and want to whinge.

xxxxxxxxxxxx.

[libellum.livejournal.com]

i will say thankyou when I leave, i am always the paradigm of politeness. actually i think the fact yr party is the talk of lj makes you even more cool. You aren't a queen of anything, everyone just likes you. & i know what you mean about being jealous when your friends like each other and it's not selfish, just normal, so hush.

xxxxx

[nepasavaler.livejournal.com]

doodling is my saviour (esp. in philosophy of journalism).

gorgeous new layout, btw.

[libellum.livejournal.com]

thankyou :D

[tombflower.livejournal.com]

I love your journal... and you like the Cocteau Twins...
I added you to my List, I hope you don't mind.

[libellum.livejournal.com]

of course not!

(have you moved from a previous journal? I might be imagining it but you seem familiar.)

[tombflower.livejournal.com]

Thank you for adding me.
No, this is my first journal here on LJ.

[verte.livejournal.com]

Ha! You made it sound as if I had a miscarriage onstage! But I saw you changed it. Neither makes enough sense. I saw this creation half-evolved late last night and now it's just gorgeous. This summer you really do have to have another go at your domain. You're far too good at webdesign to keep it to your journal.

Hmmm and mmmm. I have gone deaf, but am getting my ear syringed tomorrow. And what's all this about self-loathing??? I will not have it!

xxxxx

[libellum.livejournal.com]

yes - i stared at that sentence for about ten minutes. ah well, you've commented now, so I spose that's clarification enough. I'm glad you like the layout, although I didn't really do much. The graphic is stolen from the treasure album cover and plagiarised a bit.

Actually I was inspired to keep going and made a few more pages for the domain, just silly little things, but it's now run dry. The site doesn't gel at all and bits of it are getting seriously old. And I'm having javascript stress and I should be doing my history essay. meh.

you sound buoyant anyway, which is pleasing! got yr text yesterday and have replied in postcard form, should arrive tomorrow I hope. have a fab half term darling. I can come on friday I think - ring me and let me know the plan.

lovelove xxxx

[mettle.livejournal.com]

i love (was obsessed with) the cocteau twins.

in 'the crow road' by iain banks, there is a fantastic part where prentice gets stoned and realises how far gone he is by the fact liz fraser's lyrics start making sense.

see you soon.

[libellum.livejournal.com]

haha. i love iain banks; did my gcse english coursework on the wasp factory, comparing it to dracula. fantastic.

i wouldn't say i was obsessed. i just have a penchant for anything moody, really. xx

[ex-skyward540.livejournal.com]

wow, that's stunning

[libellum.livejournal.com]

aw, thankyou :)

(this is coincidence ... I was looking at your site a couple of hours ago)

[devevre.livejournal.com]

There's a deeper meaning behind the spirals in my notebooks than philosophy lectures, I think. The way they turn so self-indulgently inwards is all too reminiscent of me.

so start drawing them from the inside out? Beautiful journal changes.

xx

[libellum.livejournal.com]

actually, that's how I do draw them, apart from the second furls of earthwinds and double spirals. The more complex, the more self-involved. methinks I'm taking this metaphor too far. xx